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Divorce is an awful experience, and there are cases when it just cannot be avoided. For today’s protagonist, divorce was a necessary step for saving herself and her kids. A woman, named Meghan, wrote us a letter where she poured her soul out and complained that she had to work hard to support her kids after divorce, and she expected her parents to lend her a hand. But her mother suddenly switched off a supportive mode and became resentful about babysitting her daughter’s kids. Now, a desperate woman is asking our readers for help and advice about how she might proceed with her tough family situation and get it solved in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone.
Meghan appeared to be in a very tough life situation.
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Meghan, 27, has recently penned us a very emotional letter and it sounded like a real and loud cry for help. The woman feels like she’s been left without oxygen because she’s currently having so many contradictions and problems in her life. And, what is the most frustrating for the mom-of-two, is the absence of any good help and support from her dearest people. Her life is now full of ultimatums from the side of her parents and she feels both dependent on them at the moment and resentful about their tough decisions towards her and her kids.
Meghan opened her letter, saying, “My husband and I have been married for 8 years and we have 2 kids, who’re 4 and 5 years old. From the beginning of our relationship with my now ex-husband, I noticed so many red flags in his behavior, but I did love him and was dependent on him both emotionally and financially. So, like probably many women having an unhappy relationship, I kept going with that marriage in hopes that my ex-husband’s would change, which he of course never did.
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My parents have always been the people who would look at my marriage critically and they advised me to wait to give birth to kids in that relationship. I did not listen to them and I honestly thought that fatherhood would be the push for my husband’s change of behavior. I gave birth to two wonderful, amazing children, which I don’t regret now. But my mother has always been saying that my kids were now my burden and sooner or later I would bear it alone.”
Meghan had to run away from her toxic husband and ended up being alone.
Meghan goes on with her story, saying, “One day, I couldn’t bear the toxic attitude of my ex towards me and the kids anymore. This marriage was getting extremely dangerous for our and I had to run away from my ex-husband. By that time, he turned into a real monster, being a suspicious, aggressive, and lazy person who would never help me with the kids, but would only demand me to obey and do what he wanted.
I ended up living in my parents’ house, and I took only the kids and their most necessary things with me. I didn’t have any money or any valuable possessions, I was broken, with 2 kids and empty pockets. My parents welcomed me into their house, they didn’t reproach me for my life choices and helped me a lot to recover from my post-divorce trauma.
I was a single mother from then on because my ex completely refused to take care of the kids, he avoided paying child support and since the day when I ran away, he didn’t show any interest in seeing the kids or spending time with them. I didn’t expect or demand anything from him. I made a robust decision that both kids are mine, I’m both their dad and their mom, and I would do anything and everything to earn enough to be able to raise them decently.”
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Meghan thought she could count on her parents fully, but that was a mistake.
Meghan goes on with her story, saying, “So, I directed all my time and effort to find a decent job that would satisfy all our financial needs. And I did find one that was a dream job for me. I was supposed to work from home, without any need to commute, and the job itself was very interesting and attractive for me. This was something I specialized in and I was ecstatic about the opportunities that were opened for me.
I started working immediately and I did work a lot. I grabbed all the additional workload and I spent almost all my time working. My strongest motivation has always been my kids and their decent life, so I didn’t even feel tired after I worked 12 hours or more. I started getting some nice income and started saving to buy our own house. My parents were babysitting my kids and I did spend time with them, too, when I took breaks from work.
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At some point, I thought that my life was getting only better, I was planning to save the necessary sum in 2 years of such hard work, and all that I needed from my parents was their help with the kids. I even offered to get paid for this, and they agreed, so I shared the bills with them and paid them an additional $500 monthly for their job as babysitters. Everyone was satisfied and I was happy, up until one day when my mom decided she’d ruin my life by breaking our agreements completely.”
Meghan’s parents refuse to babysit her kids and insist that she must change her life plans.
Meghan goes on with her story, saying, “Recently, my mother approached me and aggressively declared that she’s fed up with this babysitting routine. She had never complained before, so for me, it was a shock that she approached the matter with such an angry tone from the start. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she was tired of me and my kids, she blamed me for my choice to give them life and said, once more, that my kids were the burden for the whole family, including me.
I wished I was deaf at that moment, because of so many nasty things my mother was saying to me. In the end, she said I would have to work part-time and change the job because she wasn’t satisfied with how things were going on at that moment. She insisted that I must work in the office from then on because she thought that was my opportunity to ‘socialize and meet a decent man’, and apart from that, she declared that I’m not allowed to work full-time anywhere anymore, only a set amount of hours per day.
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I was disappointed and dumbfounded by this sudden ultimatum. My mother knew everything about my goals, she knew that I wasn’t going to work like this forever, that I had a plan and was saving for making it come true. She knew that I’d been doing all that to be able to raise my kids and pay for their accommodation, and education and to support all their needs. But she was tired. like she said and wanted me to immediately change my plans and start building my life brick by brick again.
Now, the situation in the family is very tense. I don’t know what to do with all my mom’s conditions and ultimatums, I feel like I’m so dependent on her that I can’t breathe. What should I do?”
And here’s yet another dilemma, which a mom and a grandmother faced in her life. The woman had to make a very tough decision about her pregnant daughter and her 6 kids, who lived together with her in the same house.to find out how this family drama turned out and decide who’s to blame in this complicated situation.
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